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Airport Adventures: San Francisco Airport

by Travel Bum

Your feet stick to the carpet no matter what the season or
weather.

"(Domestic and International) - San Francisco (SFO) has the most grotesque airport carpet found in the free world, outdoing the rancid shag of Salt Lake City, the astro-barf of Memphis, and even the infamous smelly-grandma casino rug of Las Vegas McCarran. It is so grotesque, I do believe it has its own ecosystem. Your feet stick to the carpet no matter what the season or weather. Just look at the bottom of your foot after you pass through the terminal ...covered with red carpet fibers stuck to the bottom of your foot. Here, must be the birthplace of SARS and Ebola. The seating in SFO is horrendous, with torn, shredded, and mutilated varieties of black and grey vinyl chair-benches. They compliment the carpet quite nicely in a sadistic and twisted way. This airport must be the place where dead gum wads come to rest, once they are past their chew. It is is truly the home of the nastiest carpet on earth. No one would dare place their face more than a few feet close to the dreaded San Francisco Airport carpet. The stench is strong enough to send a grown man into a dizzying spell- and the carpet of doom may well kill him, would he by chance tumble and perhaps faint upon it. Following some therapy, I recall the odor to feature hints of durian, Paresian subway, stale undercooked miso, and perhaps a rotten, sweaty jock with just a bit of saccharin sweetness. God save the backpacker who must slumber upon it."

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