2003 Battle of the Airports
With 930 completed surveys submitted over the past 12 months, we are now pleased to present you with the exhaustive results of our 2003 Battle of the Airports survey. The work has been long in the making, but you can be assured that these results have been calculated with Enron-like accuracy. Among this year's highlights you may notice a few new and exciting categories in addition to some similarities from last year's results. While some airports still have reason to be ashamed, others heeded our advice and made some noticeable improvements.
If you would like to participate in the 2004 Battle of the Airports Survey, please bookmark our survey page and remember to send us your evaluation the next time you travel.
Enjoy!
Poopy Bathroom AwardsFirst Place: Cairo leads the pack again this year with bathroom facilities even Saddam Hussein wouldn't want to hide out in. With a score of a shocking -4.8, Cairo's score is plummeting faster than a toilet flush that actually works. Folks, we suggest that you avoid food and drink for at least 24 hours prior to your visit to the Cairo airport in order to avoid an unexpected need to enter these vial rooms, called bathrooms. Second Place: Up next we have the city of Addis Ababa with a score of -1. A reminder to those of you who are keeping score at home that a negative score is not good. A quick internet search tells me that this central Ethiopian city boasts "colonial buildings amid stretches of sun-bleached shacks and empty lots." Questionable bathroom facilities aside, I think I will take a pass on this exciting city if shacks and empty lots are among the highlights. Third Place: Wichita, Kansas (USA) and Tripoli fought it out for the prestigious position. Based on overall airport facilities, Tripoli comes away as the least desirable of the two. Honourable Mentions to: A special congratulations to Paris CDG for plunging themselves out of the top three worst airport bathrooms in the world. You may remember Paris' embarrassing 2nd place showing last year. Well, it looks like the time and money they saved not bombing middle eastern countries earlier in 2003 really paid off for them, as they appear to have concentrated their efforts on airport improvements. Kudos Paris. |
Porcelain Goddess Awards
You may now be wondering to yourselves "just where are the good bathrooms nowadays." Well, here's the top 10 best airport bathrooms.
First Place - Good ole Singapore Changi comes in first with a score of 19.78. It seems this airport can do no wrong.
Second Place - Squeezing in with a score of 16.14, London Heathrow really knows how to make a good loo and keep it clean too.
Third Place - And finally, with a score of 15.71 Hong Kong's toilets are damn fine with or without the concern of the SARS virus.
Honourable Mentions to:
# 4 - Seoul Incheon, score of 13.83
# 5 - Toronto (Terminal 3), score of 11.22
# 6 - Newark, score of 10.78
# 7 - Kuala Lumpur, score of 10.56
# 8 - Brisbane, score of 10.33
# 9 - Melbourne, score of 9.25
# 10 - Glasgow Prestwick, score of 9
Bathrooms so special, you can't even find them:
Try as these travellers did, they just couldn't find the bathrooms. Whether these yet unseen bathrooms are good, bad or don't even exist, it is up to you to let us know. Now be gone my fellow travellers and search out these secret and sacred urinals.
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Creepy Crawler Awards:
If it had more than two legs and moved, our correspondents took note. Unfortunately, we didn't get specific in this portion of the survey. So we don't know if you need to bring insect repellent or large animal traps. Use your own discretion.
First Place: Holding on with fierce strength, Cairo retains its position as the airport most likely to be inhabited by insects.
Second Place: Making its first appearance on the creepy crawlers list, Moscow has arrived with a take notice attitude that can only be expected of a Russian in competition. This airport has given Cairo's multiple-legged inhabitants a good run for its insect repellent. Folks, look out for Moscow next year, it looks like we are in for an exciting battle ahead between these two airports and there are no French judges on this panel.
Third Place: Falling from second, Paris CDG seems to be living down their disgusting past as newer reports show a cleaner, insect free airport.
Honourable mentions to: Addis Ababa, Belize City, Beograd, Caracas, Delhi, Dominica, El Salvador, Freetown, Gambia, Gary, Gilgit, Havana, Istanbul, Janakpur, Kangerlussuaq, Karachi, Kiev, Koh Samui, Laos, Las Vegas McCarran, Manta, Nagoya, Phoenix, Reus, Salt Lake City, San Juan, Simferopol, Trinidad, Vancouver, Villahermosa, Wuireguim, Zathinthos
The Have-A-Back-Up-Plan Awards
Some of our correspondents had some difficulty getting some shut eye in or even getting through these airports, so don't tell us we didn't warn you. ( ) indicates the number of bad reports if more than one.
KICKED OUT - Vancouver (2), Antayla, Beijing, Bologna, Daytona, El Salvador, Florence, Hamburg, Hammerfest, Havana, Kristiansand, London Heathrow, Nagoya, Salt Lake City, Seoul Kimpo, Sfax, Wuirequim
NOT PERMITTED TO SLEEP - Athens (3), London Gatwick (3), Amsterdam (2), Las Vegas (2), Paris CDG (2), Salt Lake City (2), Tel Aviv (2), Beograd, Berlin, Chennai, Cleveland, Fort Meyers, Gary, Istanbul, Karachi, Los Angeles, Mahon Menorca, Manila, Mexico City, Minneapolis, New York JFK, New York LGA, Newark, Ottawa, Paris Orly, Phoenix, Seattle, Sydney, Vienna, Warsaw, Zurich
BRIBED - Addis Ababa, Cairo, Doha, Freetown, Ho Chi Minh, Kiev, Laos, Moscow, Rome, Sanaa
The Friendliest Security Guards Awards
The security guards at these airports have managed to do their jobs while still being pleasant and helpful to the traveller. Kudos to the security teams at these airports
Airport |
Score |
Amsterdam |
20.37 |
Singapore |
19.50 |
Flesland |
17.00 |
Kuala Lumpur |
15.64 |
Brisbane |
14.78 |
Melbourne |
14.63 |
Washington Regan |
14.00 |
San Jose, Helsinki, San Francisco, and Charlotte-Douglas |
13.00 |
Bremen, Boston Logon, Baghdad (pre-April 2004 bombing I would think) |
12.00 |
Airports for the Religious
No matter what your religious associations are, some sensitive airports have Prayer Rooms. Although the idea is to pray, you don't need to show a membership for the religion of your choice at the door. So if you pray to your higher power with your head down on a pew, a pillow under your head and sleeping some sweet dream, pray on in the Prayer Rooms of these airports:
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Airports for Gambling Enthusiasts
If saving money on a hotel room and blowing it all in the airport casino is what you prefer to do, these airports will be pleased to help you achieve your goal:- Amsterdam
- Belize
- Cologne
- Copenhagen
- Frankfurt
- Las Vegas
- London Stansted
- Melbourne
- Munich
- Prague
Kid-friendly Airports
If you've ever been stranded in an airport or camped out voluntarily with children, I say you should have left the little bastards at home and this is fate's way of punishing you. Oh now, now.....I am just teasing. Don't you parents get all upset with me. The fact remains that sometimes when even grandma and grandpa don't want to put up with your unruly kids, you have no choice but to take them with you. We understand. So since you're stuck and letting your kids run around on the tarmac could be frowned upon (not by childless singles I can assure you), it would be nice to have a kids area to shoo them off to, wouldn't it? Well, the next time you travel with your kids, you may want to route through the following:
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Airports for Fitness Enthusiasts
You've just got off a long flight. You can feel the fat cells forming on your legs. What better way to get some exercise between flights than to go to the airport gym facilities. There are not many airports with this luxury, but I applaud each one of them that do.- Amsterdam
- Bangkok
- Frankfurt
- Kuala Lumpur
- Las Vegas
- Miami
- Pittsburgh
- Santiago del Chile
- Seoul Incheon
- Singapore Changi
- Stockholm
- Vancouver
Airports with Sleep Rooms
If catching a few zzzzzz's between flights is what you're looking for and camping out at the gate is not your idea of fun, check for sleep rooms. They rent by the hour and you won't get strange looks when you and your wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend say you want to rent a room by the hour.| The term "Sleep Room" does not seem to translate well in other languages, cultures and standards. A journalist did some double-checking with the US airports listed on the list below (and since removed) and the airports advised there were no such sleep rooms. Use this information at your own risk. |
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Airports with Showers
You've just got off a long flight. You smell like a barnyard on a hot summer day and you have one more flight to go. If you're flying through one of these airports, you can freshen up with a shower. Now, we can't guarantee the water temperature, but a cold shower is worth getting rid of that special airplane smell:Free Showers
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Pay Showers
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Sleep to your own tune
These airports will be blasting a medley of standard warnings (ie. don't smoke, don't leave your bags unattended, etc) and flight announcements throughout the day and night. You are best to bring a walkman, big-assed headphones to block out all external noise, good music and lots of batteries to help you through your stay in these airports:
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Dress for the occasion..... cold temperatures that is.
It is a steamy 110° outside the terminal, but inside your nipples are erect, icicles are forming on your nose hairs and hypothermia is a serious health risk. We suggest you bring some warm clothes, a bottle of whisky and a shot of adrenalin just in case the temperatures fall a little lower than humanly acceptable as has been reported at these ice boxes.
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Air conditioning? What air conditioning?
It appears that these airports are either trying to save money on the electricity bills or management actually enjoys that fabulous "Eau du stinky, sweaty traveller" scent that permeates throughout the airport. Looking at the list, I see that deodorant is not readily available/affordable/acceptable in many of these cities, so you may want to bring a face mask in addition to some cool clothes and a battery operated fan.
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The Filthy Airports Awards
Whether it be union or worker strikes or the cleaning staff just doesn't give a damn, the following airports have seen some not so pretty days. Although it could be said that airports do have off-days, we have only mentioned the repeat offenders and otherwise lowly rated airports. Remember to always be a good traveller and pick-up after yourself!
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On the spot reporting
When you are camping out or stuck in the airport the next time you travel, look for the nearest internet cafe and log on to sleepinginairports.com. That way, you can kill some time before your flight and provide us with your experience, observations and overall evaluation. Only airports with more than one sighting of an internet cafe has been included in this list.
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Most Popular Airport Sleeping Months
First Place - Book your chair or quiet corner early during the months of July and August. This is the peak airport sleeping season. Seating and floor spaces fill up fast, so it is better to arrive early than to wake up on a moving conveyor belt with a bag flying off the shoot at you. In order of popularity:- July and August
- September
- June and October
- December
- April
- May
- November
- January
- March
- February
Most Slept in Airport
First Place - That old saying "if you build an airport far enough from civilization and limit your departures to early morning and the people will sleepover" seems to have been the idea behind the large number of reports we have received about our most frequented airport at London Stansted. It leads the pack by such a large margin it is almost hardly worth mentioning the rest of the list.- London Stansted - 32
- Athens, Singapore - 20
- Amsterdam Schiphol- 19
- London Heathrow - 18
- Paris CDG - 15
- Frankfurt, Hong Kong - 14
- London Gatwick, Los Angeles, Seoul Incheon - 13
- Chicago O'Hare, Kuala Lumpur, Toronto - 11
- Las Vegas, Minneapolis, Miami, Zurich - 10
- Brisbane, Brussels, Glasgow, Newark - 9
- Dubai, Bangkok, Melbourne, Vancouver - 8
- Madrid Barajas, Atlanta, Auckland, New York JFK, Rome Fiumicino, San Francisco - 7
- Copenhagen, Denver, Munich, Orlando, Oslo, Tel Aviv, Tokyo - 6
- Busan, Cairo, Chicago Midway, Dallas-Fort Worth, Darwin, Dublin, Geneva, Houston, Helsinki, Malaga, Manchester, Milan, Malpensa, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Moscow, Istanbul, Seattle, Windhoek - 5
Percentage of travellers who knew about this site before their airport experience:
25%Percentage of travellers who actually slept overnight in the airport:
54.30%Most pleasurable airport experiences:
Based on your experiences, here we have the airports in order of most pleasurable (10) to most horrific (1). This is not based on airport facilities solely, otherwise, we would see some crappy airport ranked lower and amenity filled airports ranked higher. There were many more airports submitted, but only airports with two or more entries made the list.| Top 10 Most Pleasurable Airport Experiences | Top Ten Most Horrific Airport Experiences |
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Check out the complete list from # 1 to 72
| The Americas | Europe | Asia/South Pacific |
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| Middle East | ||
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| Africa | ||
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