by Tim
The restrooms smelled like a skunk marinated in urine and vomit.
“(Terminal 1) – Long story short, we connected at O’Hare from Denver en route to NY. When our flight to NY was cancelled (no explanation given) it was time to get to know O’Hare. First off, the terminal stinks. Mobs and Mobs of people stand in the middle, and frantic travelers rush with reckless abandon to their flights. The restrooms smelled like a skunk marinated in urine and vomit. There was TP provided, but someone had decided to be an @sshole and pee on the toilet paper, leaving it oddly discolored and unusable. The staff had not replaced it…so on to another stall. This one had unmolested TP, but the floor was nasty, the walls had boogers wiped on them (joy) and the toilet itself looked like it had seen better days. The only plus was that the stall door had hilarious graffiti scratched into it. Any of you that have frequented a men’s room know of what I am referring to (sheep drawings, sexually explicit jokes etc). So I did get to laugh …until I washed my hands that is. I washed my hands in cold water, only to find that of course the towel machine was broken. So I had to dry my hands on my shirt …which of course looks lovely coming out of the bathroom. I took this opportunity to grab some lunch/dinner. The pizza was pretty good …although the sloth that served it to me looked like he had just been released from the slam. After eating my overpriced pizza, I went back to the gate, and the bearded lady/gate agent told me to call the airline for rebooking. After calling the airline (after a 1/2 hr hold time) I was rebooked on the 7 o’clock flight – which took off from the other concourse. I walked through that cool little walkway with the neon lights that looks like something out of a 70’s porn flick, or 60’s sci-fi TV. I got to the end, and the escalator up was broken. So I had to lug my bags up the stairs. I walk through the mob of people in this concourse to the gate ALL way at the end. From there, I ended up sitting on the uncomfortable crappy seats for about 3 hrs straight, with a Cro-Magnon who obviously hadn’t heard of bathing. Finally, my the plane pulled up to the gate. I think I would file O’Hare under the “Sweet Sorrow” department…sweet when you leave, sorrow while you’re there. My advice: it’s bad enough to fly through there, so certainly DO NOT SLEEP THERE! You may grow a tail or glow in the dark afterwards. “